Can I Show You my Bug Collection?
An introduction to my microbes
I’d like to introduce you to my bugs.
That’s what I call them. I also refer to them as microbes, parasites, infections and co-infections, assholes, friends, and tenants. They are the parts of me that I didn’t come into this life carrying. They are bacteria, viruses, and spirochetes. And while I cannot see them, boy can I sure feel them.
Many of them have been with me since I was a kid, riding along down my bloodstream until they found a nice neighborhood, a small intestine, or perhaps a sinus cavity. There, they latched on, colonized, and grew comfy. It wasn’t until July of 2017 that I even knew they were there. Supremely ill, I was whisked by my wise mum to a tick-borne illness specialist who pulled 19 vials of blood for a thorough census of my bodily neighborhoods. Even then, we didn’t know each other well, my tiny tenants and I. It wasn’t until I went on a mass murder spree and began massacring their communities with antibiotics that I began to really know them. It wasn’t until they had to uproot and flee, that I felt the absence of their influence, and realized what a strong influence it was.
Let me share an example. My Uncle loves The Grateful Dead. Every time we visited his family house, he’d play The Dead from his double speakers painted with psychedelic stars. I cannot adequately express how deeply I hated The Grateful Dead. The guitar drilled into my temples, the piano itched up and down my spine, the drums cranked up my anxiety, and those wan unintelligible voices singing notes like a stringy wet dough had me clenching my teeth and fists without even realizing it. I never spoke up about this because it’s rude to tell someone their favorite band sucks, especially when objectively speaking, that band probably doesn’t. We just had different tastes in music, or so I thought.
Cut to 2018, I’ve been treating Lyme and co-infections for almost a year and a friend invites me over for dinner. He’s a coworker and we are getting to know each other. He is really into jam bands, and I don’t have the heart to tell him that Jam Bands cause me physical pain. And to be fair, I’ve never actually heard the band he mentions, though they sound a little like Phish, he says. Ok sure! I respond when he asks to show me a concert video. We sit and listen. And for the first time in my life I think, oh ok, I get it. I understand why people like this. For the first time in my life, the instruments fit together, work together, and enter my brain to be processed together. It’s not painful; it may even be pleasant. It’s nice to sit and listen to musicians who are good at their craft, whether it’s my favorite style or not.
I thought about that night for a long time after. I began to pay attention to the music that drew me. As I treated my illness, my taste in music expanded. It also contracted, especially when I was in a flare. Music has always been important in my life, but I had never before realized what a big impact my microbes had on my music taste. Same went with food, as I learned. If I had an overgrowth of one kind of microbe, I would experience deep cravings for certain foods: pickles, naval oranges, Cheetos, cabbage. They also influenced the way I dressed, whether I could tolerate a waistband around my bloated belly, or a seam scratching my armpits. I have months on end where I can only wear cotton blends because of the amount I sweat as a result of treatment. Sometimes I wonder if my microbes influence the people I choose to hang out with, or the career paths I’ve pursued, or my hobbies. Whether we like it or not, we are in this body together. So I’d like to introduce you to my bugs, my little toxic stowaways, my obnoxious friends. Because whether I like it or not, for the time being, they are mine, and I am most definitely theirs.
Lyme Disease
Alias: Borrelia Burgdorferi
Spread by: Ticks
Lyme is a cat burglar in the night. Lyme is a spy and an undercover agent. Lyme is scientifically-speaking a spirochete - a microbe similar to bacteria shaped like a spiral, hence the name spiro-chete. [Pronounced like “spyro-keet,” rhyming with parakeet]. Borrelia, as we often call them, are shape-shifters. They enter your body as spirals, twisting into your cells like screws. If threatened - by antibiotics for example - they can dissolve their cell walls and become completely undetectable. That is their “cystic form.” They also have what’s called an “L-shaped form” which is frankly beyond my knowledge and comprehension. We’re talking abstractly here. Lyme is insidious because she locates the most vulnerable systems in the body and sets up shop there. She designs her symptoms to look like any and every other illness. Lymies get misdiagnosed all the time with MS, Hashimotos, Fibromialgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Lupus, and so many more. I was even misdiagnosed as having fleas because the rashes caused by Lyme mimiced the bites of fleas. Her goal isn’t to kill you, but to keep you alive as long as possible, slowly training you into the perfect host. Spooky, but true.
Likes: Cool temperatures, stillness, wine, full moons sweets, spontaneity.
Dislikes: Sunlight, warmth, oxygen, movement, routine.
Related to: Syphilis
Babesia
Alias: Nuttallia
Spread by: Ticks
Babesia is a parasitic eukaryote that infects the blood. He is the bully of the bunch. Babesiosis involves the usual nausea, fatigue, and whopping headaches. But unique to this twisted fiend is a slew of maddening symptoms like ringing in your ears, songs playing loudly in your head, low blood pressure, blooming galaxy-like bruises at the slightest bump or nudge, and the infamous air hunger. Air hunger is simply not being able to get enough air. Babesiosis is treated with anti-malarial drugs which often cause fever-like dreams.
Likes: Playing the same song over and over, acid trips, soft surfaces.
Dislikes: Hydration, sharp corners, challenges to its authority.
Related to: Malaria
Epstein-Barr Virus
Alias: Human gammaherpesvirus 4, “the one that causes Mono”
Spread by: Humans
Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV) does in fact cause mononucleosis. However, even if it doesn’t develop into mono, it can cause plenty of problems on its own. EBV is like a bad roommate. They don’t do dishes, they never clean, all they do is lie around and complain. And they aren’t necessarily all that bad of a person - they won’t kill you - but boy do they have some awful friends. And they like to invite them over all the time. In addition to causing swollen glands, weakness, stubborn and debilitating fatigue, headaches, and brain fog among other symptoms, EBV is somehow linked to several other infections, including Lyme. Scientists aren’t sure how this works yet, but EBV seems to link up with or pave the way for the success of other infections and illnesses. See what I mean about being a really bad roommate?
Likes: Naps
Dislikes: Work, activity, brain function, movement, motivation, pep, zest… you get it.
Related to: All the other human herpesviruses
Micoplasma
Alias: Micoplasma pneumoniae
Spread by: Humans, Ticks
Micoplasma are teeny tiny bacteria of varying types. Many of us have them. They are clingy and make you feel icky but not in a way you’ll notice. I like to think of them like caterpillars that drop down onto your sweater while you walk to class or work and just hang on. They can cause what we call “Walking pneumonia” which looks and feels a like cold. I am still learning about Micoplasma, but I’m getting the sense she is more of a wallflower.
